200.

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Hi friends! 

I've been holding off on this post for a while, because for me this is a big one. I also have had no idea what to say, and honestly I still don't have a clue. But what I do know is this: this is my 200th post on Lauren Sate of Mind. 

When I started back in 2014, I didn't even fathom all the things that would happen as I developed this little corner of the internet. I didn't expect to love this as much as I do. I didn't expect to gain a small following, have people tell me they look forward to my posts, or to have the support from friends and family that I have now. 

I didn't expect life to happen along the way either. When I first began this blog, I looked up to the people in the right hand column more than they know. I watched their perfectly curated lives and thought that was all there was to them. I was wrong. Watching them grow and change and transform themselves made me realize that life is always happening whether we put it on display or not. I've lost my passion and found it again. I've had my heart broken and then put it back together. I've become completely lost in my personal life, only to find my way again. 

The lessons I've learned while making this space for myself are insurmountable. I've learned that failing is nothing to be ashamed of as long as you pick yourself back up. That taking a break, focusing on yourself, and investing in yourself is one of the greatest things that you can do. Sometimes you have to say no, because you are not superwomen and can't always do it all. I've learned that it's okay to feel everything so strongly, and that it's not a weakness. Most importantly and most recently, I've been learning to live in the now. My life is constantly in fast forward and I live what I call a "drop-and-go" lifestyle. I am constantly dropping one bag only to pick up another and head out to tackle my next big task. I've learned to walk away from the computer screen, put conversations on do not disturb, and take time to be in the present. This is probably super noticeable from the lack of current posts, and while this is something that would have stressed me out previously, I'm completely accepting of the fact that this is not my everything.

Through LSoM, I've also become more mindful- of what I put out on the internet, what I say, and how it reflects on me. I've also learned how to become mindful of my emotions, as weird as that sounds. March was one of the hardest months I've faced in a long time, and doing the Monday Musings posts actually helped me realize what was getting me down, even if the issue never made it to the published piece. 

I guess when it comes down to it, I've finally started to grow into my corner of the internet- 200 post laters, no less. I say thank you a lot, but I truly mean it when it comes to the support I have from all of you. When I started this venture in high school, I didn't know what people would think of me and what I was doing. As common as blogging is, it was still not something that was a popular thing to do as a senior in suburbia. Lauren State of Mind would be nowhere without the constant help from my many photographers, inspirations, and of course, my readers. Thank you for taking this journey with me. 

Here's to 200 more.